A role must take me in an uncomfortable zone: Nawazuddin Siddiqui

Jaideep Ahlawat: Let’s begin at the beginning. When you were growing up, what kinds of films did you watch? What was your association with Hindi cinema like? Could you share some abiding memories of those days?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Since I was brought up in a village (Budhana in Uttar Pradesh), there were makeshift cinema halls that moved from one place to another. These cinema halls would mostly screen C-grade films. We would go to watch those films. Their titles would be like: Andheri Raat Mein, Tangewali. For us, an A-grade film at that time was Purana Mandir (Ramsay Brothers). It was among the few big-ticket films I saw then. When I saw these films, I used to fancy that I should be in them too. But then every child has his own fantasy. As a child, the lure attached with actors was that they were getting to kiss for free. We were into farming and culturally not so strong. At that point of time, I was not that seriously into pursuing acting as a profession. When I was adolescent, Dharmendra was very famous in the western belt. We would watch his films.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Tell us about your equations with your family members etc. What bonding did you share with your siblings?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: We had a large house and ours was a joint family comprising uncles and aunts. Perhaps one advantage of such a family was that when everybody returned from the farms in the evening and would sit at home and have a chat, some of us children would often imitate someone in the family — the way they talked or walked.

Since I’m the eldest of eight siblings, I have been a bit strict. Even if I did something wrong, I’d ensure my brothers and sisters would not do the same. (Laughs) Even today, it has stayed the same: I am still strict to them.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Did you subconsciously decide to be an actor while imitating others in the family?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I don’t think the thought to be an actor struck then. This trait — mimicking other — is very common among kids. There is an incident of the time when TV had come to our mohalla for the first time. In our neighbouring mohalla, there used to be a girl whose house I’d pass by when I’d go to college. That girl would come to our mohalla to watch TV at a rich man’s house. We had a thing going for about a year. This was how things were then: we would merely keep seeing each other, literally, for months. I thought I should seize the opportunity and take the matters ahead with her. One day, when she stepped out to watch TV, I proposed to meet, she said she would rather watch TV. I asked her, ‘What is so special about TV? In any case, you go to watch Krishi Darshan only. Why must you be interested in crops? That (farming) we do in any case. It would be fun if we sit together and chat about something else.’ However, she went away. When she was turning away to go, I happened to tell her, ‘One day, I will show you by coming on TV.’

When I came to Mumbai after my stint at the National School of Drama (NSD), I got a small role in a serial. When the serial was scheduled to be aired, I called up my friend in the village and urged him to tell that girl that I would be on TV. In the meantime, about a decade had passed and so much water had flown under the bridge. My friend told me she had got married to a maulana who would not allow her to watch TV. So, that episode ended there.

Jaideep Ahlawat: So, when did the thought to become an actor strike you first? 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: It was around the time when I had completed my graduation and looking for a job. I went to MSU in Vadodara to study microbiology. Someone there told me about Sursagar where MSU’s drama department was located. I took admission and experienced theatre for the first time. It was only then that I started doing theatre with Gujarati plays. Then, I went to Bhartendu Natya Academy (BNA) in Lucknow and was there for two years. Later, I went to NSD. About three to four years after I graduated from NSD, I came to Bombay. In the meantime, I also did a couple of street plays. When I came to Bombay, my journey as an actor started in earnest.

Jaideep Ahlawat: You are a science graduate. When you were studying and simultaneously doing theatre, were you able to concentrate on your studies? Or were you more focused on what you were doing besides studies? In this period, how inclined were you towards literature?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I was not too invested in my subject of studies. I also worked as a chief chemist at a petrochemical factory in Baroda. I used to do titration of crude oil that came from the gulf. I’d get fed up doing this, often wondering if that was the only thing left to do in my life. 

I decided to do something else and took up theatre. So, even though I had studied science, I was not particularly inclined towards it. I got invested in literature when I came to NSD. Even though I was a science student, I started enjoying what was being taught at NSD immensely. It was at NSD that I also started reading a lot. I read everything. In three-four years, I had read a lot of stuff from Indian literature to world literature.

Jaideep Ahlawat: When you were doing these odd jobs to sustain yourself — a chemist in Baroda and a security guard in Noida — what films would you watch then?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I would not watch too many films then. Though, when I was doing theatre in Delhi, I had fortunately got exposed to world cinema. At Pragati Maidan, Manzar Theatre would screen most jewels of world cinema and I started frequenting it. I was getting introduced to the best of world cinema. These films had a tremendous impact on me. Because of these films, everything changed in me as an actor which became conspicuous even in the theatre that I was doing then. In the real sense, I got introduced to the art and craft of films not through Bollywood, but through world cinema. When I graduated from NSD, I started watching some Hindi films.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Did NSD shape your acting prowess? What role will you attribute to NSD in your evolution as an actor?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: NSD completely changed my acting style and my way of thinking. I think creative institutions are where your life gets a turning point. There is a great deal of difference in the thought that you come to a creative institution with and the thought you take away from it. My perspective towards life was different when I came to NSD. But what was being taught at NSD changed my benchmark to think, reflect and understand.

Jaideep Ahlawat: A great deal of learning happens when we interact with each other. But these days, because of technology, people have started withdrawing into their own separate zones even when they are together at some place. Do you think that is dangerous for an actor?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: It is really harmful for an actor. When I was doing theatre at NSD, we sat together and discussed. During these discussions, some got angry, some jealous, some felt proud: there were a range of emotions on display. After every such discussion, we’d learn from each other and perform better the next day. This kept us in constant practice and honed our skills. At that time, everyday near the Mandi House roundabout, you would find about 50-60 actors and directors rehearsing all the time because there was no internet, mobile etc. I was also among them. This went on for about 4-5 years. But if you go there now, it’s mostly deserted. Where are the students? They are busy on the internet. Very few are out there practising. This gadget-driven age has thrown enough challenges for an actor.

Jaideep Ahlawat: In those days, what were the kinds of plays you were doing? Who were the actors you looked up to? What were the films you were watching?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: There were actors like Naseer saab, Om Puri, Pankaj Kapur. Earlier, in older films, there was Dileep saab. When I watched their films, I got really inspired. For instance, it was around then that I must have watched Pankaj Kapur’s Ek Doctor Ki Maut. The film was inspirational because of its dialogues. One of the lines in the film said that we had come in the world to discover new things. This got deeply ingrained in my head somewhere. My life had a new purpose. Since my medium was acting, I decided to do something innovative every time through characters, be it in theatre or films. It proved to be beneficial. Gradually, I embraced this process of inhabiting the character and started enjoying it to a great extent. Sometimes, some little and inconsequential thing can also inspire you and can change the course of your life.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Did you get an opportunity to learn acting first hand from some of these actors you looked up to since some of them also did workshops at NSD?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Naseer saab used to do workshops every year. But when I was in the second year at NSD, he could not come for these workshops. His classes were very popular and I regretted not having learnt from his workshop. When some actors, who attended his classes and came back to Bombay to perform, you could notice a change in their acting. Though I couldn’t learn directly from Naseer saab, I have learnt a lot through his films.

Jaideep Ahlawat: So, after NSD, you came to Bombay. Initially, you kept getting smaller roles and did a bit of TV too. When you were doing all these things, were they enough to give vent to your creative streaks?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Hard work had become a habit by then. I worked hard when I was at NSD and even when I left it. I had done about 5,000 shows of street plays. I would lap up even a single-scene role. I just looked forward to more work. I had to constantly keep doing something — street plays or whatever else came my way. However, when I would not get any work, it was a bit frustrating. I never felt let down because I didn’t intend to return from Bombay. I didn’t go back to Delhi as people would mock at me. I could also not go back to my village as people there had already ruled out the possibility of my acting career because of my looks. This was the fear due to which I could not imagine going back.

Jaideep Ahlawat: This is a fear that a lot of struggling actors share when they come to Bombay to pursue a career in acting or filmmaking. However, this fear is often self-inflicted. It’s a creation of our thoughts. As artistes, should we nurture this fear? Can’t this prove to be detrimental too? 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: This fear can go both ways. Sometimes, it can prove to be disastrous. At other times, it can do wonders too. If this fear motivates you, making you commit to yourself that you will eventually end up doing something really substantial no matter how many years it takes, then this fear is good. However, in other cases, it can be bad too. Some people, if they fail to fulfill their acting dreams, don’t go back, but start doing something else. As for me, in hindsight, this fear made me.

Jaideep Ahlawat: What are the films that you consider as your milestones, films that changed the course of your career in your own view and in terms of people’s perspective towards your acting skills?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I think all the films that you do as an actor adds some value to your repertoire. I did a 40-second scene in Sarfarosh, but even that ended up adding some value. It was because of this that I met Anurag Kashyap. When I was doing a small role in Shool, Anurag said I was too good an actor to do such a tiny role. However, I told him I had to do it since I wanted the money. That small role in Shool changed the opinion of a lot of people about me as an actor. For a long time, according to my plan, I would do just one-scene role if it was substantial and gave me an opportunity to do something different. After about five-six years, the realisation struck that now I should graduate to two scenes. Then, I started rejecting one-scene roles. And then I got Black Friday, which had three scenes.

Jaideep Ahlawat: How crucial was Black Friday? How did it mark the beginning of a fruitful association with Anurag Kashyap?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: When I worked in Black Friday, people were looking forward to it, but it was banned and got a release only after a gap of two-three years. Till then, a lot of people had watched it on DVDs, etc. But, yes, it did bring me closer to Anurag. He promised me that he would consider me for a bigger role whenever he did some major project. Before Black Friday released, those who had seen it on DVDs appreciated those three scenes in the film. So, at that time, I had grown a bit confident. I had become hopeful that from now onward, things will improve for me as an actor. Even though I didn’t have any expectation that things will change for sure. I had made my separate universe: I had come to accept that I’d only get one-scene, two-scene roles. I was quite satisfied doing those roles. It never bothered me that much. I had come to accept three-scene roles as my peak. I had come to accept that perhaps this was what I was capable of and had reconciled with it.

When Black Friday got banned, I felt a bit let down. I felt sad that the film could not reach the audience in time. But, in 2009, there were too many young filmmakers who wanted to make specific films of their choice. There was little money in those films, but they gave vent to creative streaks. These movies would also go to film festivals around the world. It was around this time that I did films like Patang (directed by Prashant Bhargava) and Miss Lovely (directed by Ashim Ahluwalia).

Jaideep Ahlawat: Let’s talk about Gangs of Wasseypur. How big a milestone was it? How did it change people’s perceptions and your own perception about you as an actor? It must have opened a new window?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Not just a window, Gangs of Wasseypur opened an entire new door. Within one-and-a-half month of its release, I got about 275 scripts. With so many years of experience, it was only then that I decided to treat it as the biggest trap. It had to go either this way or the other. So, I decided to refuse the scripts that came my way as a result of the impact in the wake of Gangs of Wasseypur. I decided to spare some time for myself and sit idle for a while, preparing myself for whatever had to happen. I had heard similar tales of people before me who were flooded with films in a similar situation. I had heard stories about actors who, when they had tasted success, were approached by people with all sorts of scripts, willing to offer whatever you asked for in terms of money. After the release of Gangs of Wasseypur, many producers sent me blank cheques, urging me to fill whatever amount I wanted and gave whatever dates I chose. I decided not to take them up. I thought I was not alien to hunger and would have no qualms even if things got so worse, but I would not do those films.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Tell us about the experience of doing Gangs of Wasseypur.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: When I got to know that I was doing the lead role in Gangs of Wasseypur II, I was a bit nervous. But since it was Anurag, who safeguards his actors and keeps them close, I was comforted. I was confident that he will take care of everything. On the sets, I guess for two days, I did a bit of overacting since I was playing a powerful character. But one day, Anurag took me to task for this, making me understand that as Faizal Khan I didn’t need to show my power. Power vests in him. And I had to keep it within me.

Jaideep Ahlawat: I can imagine the long and arduous years it took for you to prove yourself as an actor. But, then, it must have been hard for you to say no to those blank cheques, having seen days when you had to borrow every fifteen day or so. Do you think it is crucial for actors not to do things that they should not be doing?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Absolutely. They must resist all such temptations and not fall prey to hunger for more. Luckily, I had learnt from previous actors and from their rise and fall. I had told myself that I will not be repeating their mistakes.

Jaideep Ahlawat: After Gangs of Wasseypur, you did many films. But do you feel Faizal Khan was such a powerful portrayal that some elements of his character have stayed with you? Or some other characters that left some impact? 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: When you portray a character, you try to tap some part of yourself. Some elements of the characters you play reside within you and you just need to discover them. If you take away something from certain characters, they also tend to take away a great deal from you. Every character takes away something from the actor, leaving him depleted in the end. He lands in a neutral space since he has exhausted all his emotions on his characters and is left with nothing.

When I did Raman Raghav, I knew that I was a far cry from that character. His philosophy is that he can kill people with little thought, with characteristic ease. You can play such a character only if you are able to believe in this thought, have faith in him. It was really scary for me to play a character that kills people just for some fun. So, if you look within and try to tap from whatever is inside, you discover that you are a repository of every shade of positivity and negativity. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: Yes, indeed. And, if you are able to do that, you are filled with a sense of achievement. Tell us about some characters that have been challenging. 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Every new role fills one with a bit of anxiety. Come to think of it, anybody can play any role, but when you respect a character that you are playing, there are a lot of possibilities that open up to do justice to that role. It’s only the actor who creates these possibilities. There were many roles that were challenging. For instance, my role in Talaash. It was tough, but I had a reference in the form of my younger brother. He walks and talks in the same fashion as my character in Talaash, as if he is raring to become the Prime Minister. 

In hindsight, it was good that there were a lot of days when I had nothing to do in the past. In those days for many years when there was little to do, all I did was observe things, reflecting on people around me and life in general. That period is proving to be useful now when I am getting a multitude of roles to play.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Let’s talk about Manto. Manto is a big name in literature. Tell us about how you prepared to portray him in the film by Nandita Das.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: There are no videos of Manto. There are just photos. So, while playing him, I had to keep in mind that there had to be a lot of me in how I portray him — my expressions, the way I am — but I also had to ensure that at the same time it’s not just I who shines through the character, but some shades of Manto too. Since there was no reference, I focused on entering Manto’s thought through his physicality. So, initially, while preparing for the role, I started wearing similar clothes as Manto. At my residence, in a separate room, I created a library and also started listening to old records. I created an alternate, old world, away from the distractions of modern gadgets like mobile, etc. For 10-12, days, I would just sit in that room and try to feel how it must have been like being Manto in that era. This was a precursor to enter his thought process. The shooting is still on for the film. I can’t say to what an extent I have been able to succeed. But I have tried to do it to the best of my ability.

Jaideep Ahlawat: You have worked with Nandita Das before. What chemistry do you share with her?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Nandita has an eye for detail and focuses on every little thing even in the background. She has researched on Saadat Hasan Manto’s persona for the last five years. She also had discussions with his three daughters who are in Pakistan. They have told her about the different aspects of their father’s personality. Nandita knows the intricacies of these detailing. She was a great support I relied upon to understand what kind of a person Manto must have been.

Jaideep Ahlawat: You talked about how you prepared to inhabit Manto’s character. How crucial is such a preparation to get into the skin of a character? Sometimes, however, you do not get enough time to prepare. In those circumstances, what can you rely on? Also, does it vary from script to script, depending on the demands of a role?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Yes, this does not apply to all characters. For Badlapur, I did not have to prepare like this since there were not many dialogues and mostly reference points. The character was well etched out in the mind of its director, Sriram Raghavan. So, I would go to its sets with a clean slate. On the sets, Raghavan would give the character a shape. In that sense, it was a very spontaneous character to play. Sometimes, all you need to do is keep your mind free. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: Yes, but isn’t keeping your mind free a preparation in itself?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Of course.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Tell us something about your upcoming film Babumoshai Bandookbaaz, directed by Kushan Nandy.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: It is an action film which has elements of romance replete with humour. It’s an experiment. Let’s see how it works out. It was fun to work with Kushan who is almost the same age as I. we discussed the various ways to do certain things. I think that’s the privilege of working with like-minded people who share the same approach. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: Tell us something about Dekh India Circus in which you played Jethu, who is from the Rabari community. Tell us something about how you did that role.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: The Rabaris have their own rules and methods, though they are very poor. Unfortunately, it didn’t get a commercial release. It was very well made. I wanted the film to release since it was a commercial film and had good songs and music.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Do you think this is the age in which both art and commercial films can flourish together? Does the success of a film depend solely on content these days? 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: To tell you the truth, I don’t categorise between art and commercial films. It’s either a good film or a bad film, whatever the category. As an actor, one is asked to play a certain character in a certain manner. In that sense, we have a limited role as actors. A director tells you how to enact certain role and you do it the way he wants you to. It’s after you do a film that people start categorising. Earlier, I could not even distinguish an art film from a commercial one. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: So, as an actor, what is most satisfying to you?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I find the film’s process very interesting. During the process of a film, there is a constant creative tussle between a director and an actor — with the director aiming to achieve a certain performance from the latter. When the director finds a performance satisfying and shouts “Good”, that’s the biggest reward.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Today, who are the directors with whom you have struck a rapport or the ones with whom you would like to work with?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I manage to strike a chord with the directors I work with. If the rapport is not there in the beginning, it develops during the course of a film, owing mostly to my work. The actor and director must be on the same page with regard to the character. It’s an essential prerequisite. When this happens, then it’s easier to develop a relationship or friendship with a director. If you are able to form a perfect chemistry with the director, he is also willing to work with you again, just like you’d like to do a film together, again.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Could you name some directors…

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: For instance, I’m really enjoying working with Sabbir Khan on Munna Michael. He makes you feel totally at ease. Even long scenes are shot within no time. Nandita has her own process. She is not satisfied till she gets the perfect shot. The role of an actor is to adapt to the thought process of the director, to identify the rhythm of a particular director and mould oneself accordingly. A director is someone who is looking at the entire film. As actors, we have to fit into a director’s vision.

Jaideep Ahlawat: So, who are the other directors who make you feel at ease?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Almost everyone, be it Anurag (Kashyap), Dibakar (Banerjee), Sabbir (Khan) or Kabir (Khan).

Jaideep Ahlawat: Who are some of the actors you have enjoyed working with?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: To tell you the truth, I immensely enjoyed working with Shah Rukh Khan because we shared a theatre background. I’m not saying that one must have a theatre background to become an actor; it may not be necessary. But I liked working with Shah Rukh in Raees because we got to do one scene quite a few times differently. And I thought that process was really interesting for me. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: What did you learn from world cinema?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I learnt the economy of acting, how to express more through a very minimalistic way, how to be more impactful using the little devices at your disposal. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: Could you name some films or directors that you keep revisiting in order to perfect the craft?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Whenever you watch a film, you always tend to take some bits from it which you later employ during a performance. This is a process that goes on forever.

Jaideep Ahlawat: But, still, any favourites…Scorcese, Tarantino, etc…

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: Yes, of course, all of them.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Since I admire your craft as an actor, I feel that you have simultaneously handled two types of films: there are films with A-listers, from the audience point of view, with all the pomp and glitter, and, simultaneously, there are other small-budget films. For example, Raman Raghav. Even though it has big names, it is not quite the same as a Bajrangi Bhaijaan or a Raees. When you do these two types of films, which of them give you more creative satisfaction?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I enjoy the process for both the types of films. In fact, the process for both remains the same. It is just the method which is different. For example, Anurag has a different modus operandi. So, when I worked with him, I tried to adapt to his way of doing things. And when I did Kick with Sajid Nadiadwala, I tried to adapt to what he wanted. This way, the actor only gets enriched, his skills only get enhanced. Those who advocate that only realistic films are good should know that some commercial films can be great too. Today, there is a big fraud going on in the name of realistic cinema. If you are honest actor trying to do a particular scene, your effort will shine through in both types of films.

Jaideep Ahlawat: After doing so much, what keeps you ticking? What fascinates you about filmmaking? What is your drive when you sign film after film?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I always get fascinated by the director who is helming a particular project. However, it doesn’t mean that that particular director must have a body of work. He can be a new director too, but you can sense from his thought that the story he wants to tell, how is he viewing that story and in what direction can he take it and how. As an actor, I look at whether a particular role is challenging or not. After the film, I must get the feeling that I enjoyed doing it. If these things don’t happen, there is no point taking up a project. A role must take me in an uncomfortable zone where I am made to struggle. I must feel that it may not be my cup of tea, that I may not do justice to this role. For example, in Munna Michael, I have to dance. And it’s not a regular dance but very specialised. And I have not shaken a leg in my life. But I’m thrilled because there is something to challenge me. 

Jaideep Ahlawat: Besides films, how do you unwind?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: In the company of friends, discussing cinema and acting. That often takes up a lot of the leisure time. Besides, I am passionate about listening to background score.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Anything else? Travelling, music…?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I want to travel, but have not done it much.

I will be leaving for a vacation very soon.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Coming back to acting, there is legion of actors who have inspired you. And, likewise, there is another legion of actors you have inspired. What message will you give to those actors who want to do something different, but perhaps lack direction? 

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I don’t think of myself as worthy of giving suggestions. I can merely share my experience with them. They should know that there is no short cut. There is a long and arduous process for an actor even today as it was for us. Your uniqueness and originality should not get lost when you land in this city. That is your biggest USP. You must try and not become a part of the herd. Your honesty, passion and faith are your invaluable assets and you must preserve and protect them. And, if you want to become an actor, stay away from all gadgets as far as possible and practice every day.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Tell us something about your Hollywood projects.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I’m doing McMafia, a BBC One TV series, which is very lavish. I’m going to Croatia for its shoot. It is being directed by James Watkins, who had directed Black Mirror, another TV series.

Jaideep Ahlawat: Are there similar directors you would like to work with abroad?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: I have not thought much about it. I am getting to do the kind of films I want to do here. I feel I should not have an unnecessary desire. I don’t want to flaunt the Hollywood stamp. If Hollywood films come to me, I will surely do them. However, I will not make special effort to go looking for such roles there.

Jaideep Ahlawat: What are the films you are currently working on?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: My forthcoming films are Munna Michael (Sabbir Khan), Mom (Ravi Udyawar), Babumoshai Bandookbaaz (Kushan Nandy), Manto (Nandita Das) and the TV series McMafia (James Watkins).

Jaideep Ahlawat: One last question. After achieving so much, did you ever think that you will do this interview with me? (Laughs). I know it’s a pedestrian question.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui: It has been a long time since we met. We have done four films together. When you are shooting, one doesn’t know what you are up to, but when we see you on screen, we know what you have ended up achieving.

Jaideep Ahlawat: For actors like me, you are like a syllabus. I have often watched your performances on loop to figure out why a particular character is strange, observing the way he walks, his mannerisms. For a lot of actors, you are a source of inspiration. However, you have tasted success after a long haul. And there has been no short cut. I hope the aspiring lot understands this.