Natasha Malpani Oswal. Photo courtesy of the poet
Poet’s Note: ‘The poems are my truest voice’
My first collection of poems, Boundless, captured my search for my own identity in my twenties as I built my career as an immunologist and investor in London, and then moved to California to do an MBA at Stanford. I wrote Reinvention after moving back to India after ten years of living abroad.
The transition has been both difficult and rewarding. I wrote these poems as I grappled with the idea of coming ‘home’ and ‘coming of age’. At first, I worried about losing the identity I had worked so hard to build. Home didn’t feel anything like home when I moved back. I transitioned from being an investor to a producer and starting my own company, and adjusting to two families. Reinvention is my personal diary — it explores the darker side of love, family and ambition. Can we preserve our identity, while being part of multiple families? What sacrifices do we have to make for success? Can we have it all — and keep it?
I titled the book Reinvention, because the book is about the power of embracing and leaning into change. Now I believe we can absolutely keep and amplify our voice — while staying connected to our roots. I think this is a bolder book, and hopefully reflects my own personal growth post Boundless.
I think poetry is the most honest and raw form of self-expression. I write poems to both express and understand my own thoughts and feelings. I find the process therapeutic. I have a very distinct style of writing — the words I use are hard-hitting, evocative and have powerful imagery and rhythm, but are also very direct and simple. The poems are my truest voice — this is how I think. I write the poems as notes to myself as a personal diary, because I want to keep the words as sharp and vulnerable as possible. The poems come to me almost fully formed. I try to edit myself as little as possible. I believe poetry needs to capture your darkest thoughts and feelings. People resonate with the truth. I put myself out there completely.
Starry Night
You’ve waited
to be here
as golden in person
as they seem
on the outside
— looking in —
so untouchable/
an almost
inhuman glow
but they
grow dimmer
as the night
wears on
you try to hold on.
to touch.
— the glitter
rubs off —
it was always
just glue
an emptiness
in the room/
tired panic
behind the
posturing
when you take it off
do you still
keep shining?
Settle
You look
across
the table
— restless —
you know
they’re adequate
(not enough)
love is more
than this.
Sharp
My words
are pointed
— razor sharp —
reminder:
truth hurts
I bite
my tongue
to stop
myself
from cutting
you down
Big Girl
She stands
ramrod straight
calm waters
charm on/
shining
always the right
choice of words
but she’s
not controlled
as poised
as she seems
on the surface
she has power
but she depletes
runs out of charge
take care of her
stroke her hair
tell her it’ll work out
she needs to know
you’ll be there
The essay and the poems are part of our Poetry Special Issue (January 2021), curated by Shireen Quadri and Nawaid Anjum. © The Punch Magazine. No part of this essay or the new poems exclusively featured here should be reproduced anywhere without the prior permission of The Punch Magazine.
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