
Editor’s note: Aloo Shorba by Afzal Tauseef, translated by C. Christine Fair, tells the story of twin brothers orphaned in early childhood and separated after their grandmother’s death, each raised in starkly different households; one in privilege and the other in poverty. The narrator, brought up in his wealthy Khala’s strict home, is denied affection and individuality, while his brother, despite hardships, grows up with freedom and camaraderie in Phuphi’s modest household. Marked by lifelong alienation symbolised by the humiliating ritual of being served only potato stew, the narrator ultimately rebels against Khala’s control. Tauseef traces the brothers’ diverging paths with sharp, unsentimental prose, offering a portrait of class, kinship, and longing that lingers well beyond the page.
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This is my story. The story wrote itself. No one created it. I didn’t create it either. Whatever happened, happened. It is in my memory. I’ve reached the age when most people begin their lives. But it seems to me that phase of my life is already gone. That past phase of my life seems like a story. What is a story? It’s like a stubborn snake that has wrapped my existence tightly in her coils. My entire life, spanning 25 years, is entirely in her grip.
My story began on the day I was born. My birth was not a special event. Children are born all the time. Sometimes, even twins are born. And like that, my brother was born with me. We were both firstborn children. Two sons at once….Punjabis are ebullient when the first child is a son. They got a pair of boys. And it was like this in my house. I cannot say how happy my parents were because, by the time I figured it out, the situation had changed. Both of them, who were responsible for bringing us into this world, died at the same time in an accident. By that time, my twin brother and I must have been two years old.
We were both orphans in this big world. There was no one else in our house, apart from my paternal grandmother. I vaguely recall my grandmother struggling with it all. She would take one of us into her arms, and the other would grab her finger, and she would take us outside. Then, after some distance, she would sit and catch her breath. On the return, we would switch places. The one in her arms grabbed the finger, and the one latched onto the finger climbed into her arms. Grandmother equally divided her motherly love between us. She carried the burden of the two sons of her only son.
But this situation couldn’t last forever. One grandmother and two grandsons couldn’t live together for long. Our grandmother was sick and weak. And there was no one to care for her. The sorrow over the passing of her young son and daughter-in-law ate at her like a worm. Grandma's last worry was us. Even though we were the last hope for our grandmother, our grandmother could not live on this hope.
We weren’t even five years old when Grandmother became gravely ill. In those days, two ladies came to the house in turn. One was our paternal aunt, Phuphi, and the other was our maternal aunt, Khala. They both sewed clothes and brought them for us. Sometimes they would give us new clothes. In this regard, both were fine, but we, the two brothers, had no love for them. We liked Auntie Bushra and Najma from the neighboring houses more than them. And we even played with their children. But we preferred our own home to theirs. Both of us brothers were close friends. We were never apart for even a moment. Our house, our alleyway, and our neighbors comprised our beautiful world. Then a day came…which we couldn’t even think about…when everything was upended. We found ourselves in a strange predicament.
Our grandmother had been very ill for several days. But today, she was quiet and her eyes were closed. Someone covered her face. Several women came and sat around our grandmother’s bed. Sagran Auntie took both of us brothers to her home to feed us breakfast. Then asked us to play there. She began to explain that Grandmother is ill and there should be no noise in their house. I didn’t feel like playing. I felt a strange sadness and fear. At our house, many people had gathered outside our home and were sitting on mats. Right before evening, our grandmother was wrapped in a white cloth and taken somewhere. Where? Everyone was lying to us. “Grandmother was taken to the hospital. She’ll be back when she’s well.” I don’t know why they were all lying to us.
We knew, all the children in the lane knew that grandmother had died. They took her to the cemetery and buried her. Now, her soul would visit the house. We wouldn’t be able to see her, but she would be able to see us. This is why we would always be well-behaved children.
Now, Phuphi and Khala took turns staying in our house. One day, they came together and began whispering amongst themselves. They also began gathering our grandmother’s belongings and put them to one side. They also began dividing up our clothes and toys. Then they split us up as well. I went with Khala, and my brother went with Phuphi. Finally, they procured a large lock and closed up our house. It was the worst day. We felt horrible about everything that happened that day. These two women seemed like trouble to us. Perhaps they had come to uproot us. But now, what could be done? Without grandmother, how could we both live there? But how could we live apart from each other? Now, we will not live happily in any house. We had become a burden. Khala and Phuphi sat down to plan. To this day, I still remember their words.
“Keeping two children is a big burden. Who would like to raise someone else’s children.” Considering us a burden, they took us from that place where we were loved and appreciated like flowers. We were too young to speak our minds. We were helpless. And who would listen to what orphans had to say anyway? Moreover, someone had frightened us terribly. “If someone dies in a house, their ghost will revisit this house. At night, they will eat small boys and girls.” This dispelled any of our stubbornness about leaving the house. We were separated without making any fuss. Both brothers were brought via different routes to strange and unknown homes. We were a pair that had been broken up and separated. I was incredibly sad, and it seemed to me as if my brother was even sadder than I was.
The homes of our aunts Khala and Phuphi were in the same city but were distant from each other. Moreover, their affections were opposite to each other. This was not because one was the sister of our father and the other the sister of our mother; rather, this distance was due to the enormous difference in social status between Gulberg on the one hand and Shahdara Town on the other. And each of those families had their own children as well. There were several big promises when they separated us. First, their children would welcome us. Second, we would enjoy living there. Third, we would continue meeting each other every day. Sometimes I would go to Phuphi’s house, and sometimes my brother would come to Khala’s house. After coming to our new houses, we found out that no one had given us much thought. To fulfill this obligation that had been foisted upon them, they did what was easy for them. But the adults turned out to be liars. And their children were no less liars than they were.
In the house where I lived, the children were huge liars. Every day, they made a new program for themselves. They would frequently enjoy themselves, but we were never included in any of their programs. They even stopped calling us by our names. In both houses, we were either referred to as the twins or as the eldest, Bada, and the youngest, Chhota. I, who was born one minute before, became known as Bada, the eldest, and my brother, who announced his existence by screaming one minute later, became known as Chhota, the younger. Our parents gave us beautiful names: Umran and Niaman. Grandmother very lovingly referred to us as Amu and Nomi. But now we were nameless. When one uses your name, you feel familiar, a sense of importance, and even love. But orphaned children are not kept in homes for these reasons. They keep us due to pity, a sense of fulfilling a duty, earning divine rewards, or to show off. But when it came to us, there was no one to impress.
My Nomi was known to those in Phuphi’s house as Chhota. It was a very impoverished household. But Khala’s household, where I was brought, was pleasant and wealthy. But they were stingy with their affections. In this regard, Phuphi was more generous. We figured this out when our father’s sister, Phuphi, afforded the same status to a child brought to her house to live as she did her own children. Several months had passed since we were taken from our homes, but no one bothered to reunite the separated brothers.
I kept my feelings to myself, but my brother would loudly cry out my name. He remembered me. He managed to stubbornly appeal to Phuphi’s heart. Finally, the day came when Phuphi brought him. We were very happy. Both brothers, forgetting the world, began to play together. Chhota had already forgotten some of the things from the past. He had many new things. He was talking about his new home and insisting I come with him. There were many things to show me there. There were several trees that he could even climb. He had seen several nests. There was a cat he especially cared for. There was also a pond where the children went fishing every day. We spent the entire day together. At night, we slept on the same bed, sharing a pillow just as we did when we lived in our own home.
But the next day, when Phuphi came to take Chhota, Khala started fighting and arguing with her. We knew that the two were quarreling because of us. Based upon what Khala was saying, it seemed as if she wanted to say that Chhota was uncouth, poorly dressed, his education was completely neglected, and he had become completely feral. He ran around barefoot but climbed onto the bed with shoes on. And to some extent, what she said was correct. But the real issue was that Chhota thrashed Khala’s delicate son. Chhota destroyed his mechanical toy set. Hearing Khala’s bitter words, Phuphi wasn’t going to stay silent. She had her own arrows to shoot. She began to say, “Bada is quiet all the time and has become weak. No one lets the boy play or even eat freely. It was not appropriate to enroll him in a school that only teaches English and enforces rigid rules.” Both women were airing their long-pent-up grudges. But neither really understood what we needed. Namely, both of us brothers wanted to live in the same place. But they have kept us apart. Now Chhota was desperate to return to his own home, but he wanted to take me with him. But how was this possible? But because of the separation, we had become two separate things. Who asks a “thing” about their preferences? Even if Phuphi were to take me, for Khala I was just one thing among her varied possessions.
This time when we were separated, we both began to sob. For this reason, Phuphi invited me to her home next week. In any event, our school vacations had already started. An agreement was made to send the boys to each other’s houses, turn by turn. There were enormous differences between the homes of Phuphi and Khala both in terms of their ways of life as well as in the physical structures of the neighborhoods. For this reason, I preferred Phuphi’s house. There was one dish cooked per day. All of the kids crammed into the kitchen to eat. Together, we’d make a ruckus. We all played in a small courtyard. We’d throw up dirt. If we were scolded, we were all scolded. No one in particular was singled out. None of the children were accustomed to complaining. Rather, they hid each other’s naughtiness.
Khala’s household was just the opposite of this. At her house, no one had the luxury of making a mistake. All the time, people were back-stabbing and being mean to each other. Even though I went to Phuphi’s during school vacation, I still learned that Niji, Miji, and Chhota studied in the same school, had the same school bag, the same uniform, and all three received one rupee for pocket money every day. Chhota turned out to be most adept at climbing trees, tearing his clothes, and getting them full of mud from the pond. Despite this, when Phuphi sat down to clean the pile of dirty clothes, she gave a proper scolding to Niji and Miji. Chhota’s name never came up. I understood why Chhota was so desperate to come to Phuphi’s house and why he found living in Khala’s beautiful and spacious house so tedious.
Fifteen days later, Khala sent a servant to bring me on the pretext that I wasn’t doing any homework. There was a concern that allowing a boy to live in such an unsuitable environment for so long might spoil him further.
From Khala’s point of view, I was becoming unruly from staying with Fupi for so long. They slept in late. Upon getting up, apart from playing and getting rowdy, they had nothing else to do. In Khala’s house, we were required to get up early in the morning, even during holidays. Then we had to wash our faces and hands and do our studies. Our clothes had to remain clean at all times. Twice during the day, we had to brush our teeth and comb our hair…Perhaps for this reason, my teeth had no cavities, but Chhota surely must have cavities in every tooth by now! But on the other hand, my brother enjoyed life much more than I did. While my brother wasn’t even afraid of snakes, I was frightened if an ant approached me. But all of my needs were met here, except my need for love and affection. Perhaps it was because of this discipline that I was able to pursue higher education. Today, I can perform white-collar work. On the other hand, Chhota has no career. This was something that Khala drove into my skull. She viewed my brother as a duffer and those who raised him as worse than criminals.
This is not just about Chhota. Niji and Miji didn’t have careers either. All three of the boys dropped out of school and began learning to be auto mechanics. Niji and Miji started work. All they did was earn. In the competition between Khala and Phuphi, in Khala’s mind, she had won because I had become an engineer with a BSc. And my twin brother hadn’t even completed the 10th grade. Moreover, he did not get a proper upbringing there. He turned out to be uncouth and cursed. He is a mere laborer. I am an officer, a gentleman. Surely there is a difference, and it began the day we were separated.
Khala lived in a nice, large house, and I lived with her. Khala’s kids went to school in a fabulous car, and I went with them. Khala’s family ate, seated at a dining table, and I ate with them. A dhobi washed her children's clothes, and a servant polished their shoes. And they did this for me, too. It was the custom of her house to go out on a picnic or sightseeing when the weather was pleasant. And I had to go with them. All of them spoke with great style, mixing English into their Urdu. And I began to do this after watching them for a long time.
But hapless Chhota, from the time of our separation, lived in a completely different environment. He was forced to live in a poor area, in the world of subsidized housing. Niji and Miji slept in a one-room shack. And Chhota also slept there. They ate by grabbing a roti and putting their vegetable curry on it. Sometimes they would sit, and sometimes they would stand while eating. And Chhota did the same. On several occasions in their house, there was nothing prepared to eat other than roti, which they would eat with just yogurt or chutney. Their clothing was always torn. Similarly, they never bathed properly. Their heads were filthy and infested with lice. Their heels were cracked. Phuphi struggled to make ends meet in these conditions of poverty and scarcity.
Her husband’s meagre salary had to be spent on taking care of his elderly parents. For this reason, she had to earn money as a seamstress, and she could not spare any time to take care of the children. The children did as they pleased. Chhota was the most headstrong. But there, he was considered a real brother. In Khala’s house, I was a cousin, just a cousin, and an orphan at that. A helpless thing that was dropped off at her doorstep. A symbol of her dead sister. And she was very desirous of getting approbations from people for taking care of me. People would exclaim how she changed the fortunes of this orphaned child. Other things were happening with me. She would always compare me to Chhota. “Phuphi didn’t take care of him, he turned out to be a wild animal.” She would say other such cruel things.
These were things that people saw on the outside. But inside, it was a different matter altogether. My brother and I didn’t think like this. Chhota doesn’t even need to think. He is happy no matter where he is. Whether it’s Phuphi’s rundown house, the broken-down bed, the ramshackle school, or basic meals. None of this mattered to him. They were enough for him. No child thinks about these household things. Children love their homes as long as they are safe and secure. Even now, Chhota is delighted with his life. He thinks the same way about me. Even though he felt differently when we were children. Today, it is a source of pride for him that I am educated and capable. When it comes to me, his thinking has changed. He believed that the place, where he couldn’t stay even for a few days, was good for me. I certainly never could explain to him what I felt. There was now such a difference in how we spoke. I was not very good at communicating. I lacked confidence. I could never be open. I couldn’t even speak frankly with my real brother.
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