For Kabir
I want to leave you hummingbirds
meticulously feathered in pollen of
birdbaths, levitating conspicuously
into liminal spaces, perseverance in
stamina and speed, humming along.
I want to leave you the history lesson
your great grandpa wanted to write
the story of his father, Sardar Saheb
he was called “brave like a lion” and
had a voice that rumbled like oceans.
I want to leave you the distance of
home, the one your father wishes
for with his breath and body, ever
standing at the fountain of missed
coins, offered to their tangled tales
the reluctance of my accented verse.
I want to leave you hymns, chanted
unspooled, memory of His rhythms
shared as lullaby, so enchanting its
sounds, it seeps you in nectar of a
quivering voice, you close your eyes
into lacquered sleep, hummed quiet.
I want to leave you with
every dawn and dusk of
my life stitched in prayer.
do not resuscitate
At the edge
of a dainty empty town
that rests at the end of
a long shrinking road
that crawls around the
midriff of a serpentine
circle of wintered trees
whose shadows hover
bare as antelope horns
over a flickering pond
resembling a loneliness
in the belly of my body
its umbilicus nestled in
your terminal memory
like the rippling totems
strung into prayer flags
colorful, stretched tight
the rage of quarantined
s.
c.
r.
e.
a.
m.
s.
At the edge
of our mystery
now stands a sign —
do not resuscitate, this
l.
i.
f.
e.
Dendrochronology
Some questions start in the center of my belly, a soft hunger
others stumble out of my mouth, like acres of wild gardens
they fall from the sky, into the backyard of my night storms
stay like watchful steps of an elephant on my hunter’s heart
I fill my breastbones with the fallen feathers from my porch
with quills, I draw ripples over the river between us
I conjure some answers and embroider each with a
daisy stitch into the stretch circles that are emerging
around my middle, each concentric ring now coded
with questions and answers, like the stump of a tree.
each code permanent as it keeps vigil on my ghosts.
Cemetery paths
If a cemetery sang, even powdered snow would melt in remorse
If the dead talk, they would sing at sundown in many languages
If the pungent earth inside graves danced, stubbed grass will sway
If funeral ceremonies truly held ceremony, lies would live inside coffins
If letters on all tombstones were poems, then birds might perch longer
If the magnolia canopies stayed white, hope could bleach into bones
If a no moon night was less monosyllabic, I would sleep under the sky
Somewhere your grave will stay cradled in tears
Somewhere grief will enter cemeteries, bringing
a fistful of presence to leave behind on the paths
Somewhere a sparrow holds a spirit on her wings
Hubris
Like Dickinson’s spider, I too could make
my hours into lace, so much labor, care as
it strings immaculate silence.
Instead, I am forever working my way out
of snowflake webs, crawling away and away
from the nibbling winter cold.
At each exit, I chase orb weavers, hoping to
learn the art of weaving a web, nearly blind.
then eating it, no escape.
My gods do not stir, they are addicted to the
burden of a hubris, where spiders spit white
in mouthfuls of delight.
A dawn waits at the edge of hexagonal nights
lingering in coma, an equilibrium of strained
light, lingering like silk.
Like spiders, I too spin tendrils of lightless
ness, stay trapped inside naked hollows of
my own porcelain bones.
Some of these poems appeared in Woman by the Door by Kashiana Singh (Apprentice House, 2022). They were born of necessity and travel — after Kashiana moved from India to the US in 2013 — in and out of that doorway into many spaces before and after that point in time.
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